Carolina Peace - The false handover of US power to the people of Iraq

The false handover of US power to the people of Iraq

Written by Administrator

Wednesday, 30 June 2004

{IMAGE1}SKIT—UNCLE SCAM GIVES SOVEREIGNTY TO IRAQ

Cast:

Uncle Scam – (Uncle Scam is a man who wears a typical Uncle Sam outfit)

The People of Iraq – (The people of Iraq are played by either a woman or a man and they wear over their clothing either as a sash or a skirt the Iraqi flag that had been used since Iraqi independence until the American invasion).

US: GOOD AFTERNOON LADIES & GENTLEMEN. MY NAME IS UNCLE SCAM (CLEARS THROAT) UH, I MEAN, UNCLE SAM. TODAY I’M PROUD TO ANNOUNCE A MOMENTOUS OCCASION IN HUMAN HISTORY. 15 MONTHS HAVE PASSED SINCE SADDAM HUSSEIN FORCED US TO LIBERATE THE PEOPLE OF IRAQ DUE TO THE THREAT HE POSED WITH HIS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION—WHICH WE’RE STILL LOOKING FOR. OVER 900 AMERICANS HAVE DIED, AS HAVE OVER 12,000 IRAQI CIVILIANS. BUT I MUST SAY TODAY THAT THE PRICE WAS WORTH IT. BECAUSE TODAY I PRESENT THE PEOPLE OF IRAQ WITH SOVEREIGNTY! SOVEREIGNTY! SOVEREIGNTY! OVER THEIR OWN COUNTRY. IT’S YOURS!
(US HANDS OVER ALL STUFF TO IRAQ)

IRAQ: THANK YOU. WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY FOR A LONG TIME. WE FEEL TRULY BLESSED. IT WILL BE WONDERFUL TO TAKE CONTROL OVER OUR OWN RESOURCES. TO TAKE CONTROL OVER OUR OIL!
(IRAQ DISPLAYS OIL SIGN)

US: YES! YES! WELL, ACTUALLY
(HE GRABS THE OIL BACK)
THE OIL WEALTH WILL BE HELD BY A COMMITTEE APPOINTED BY US…

IRAQ: US? (GESTURES TO HERSELF)

US: NO, US. (GESTURES TO HIMSELF) UNTIL SUCH TIME AS LEGITIMATE ELECTIONS ARE HELD AND THAT WILL TAKE PLACE SOME TIME… SOME TIME… PROBABLY IN A YEAR. AND DON’T WORRY, WE’RE STILL LOOKING INTO THE $20 BILLION OIL WEALTH THAT THAT HAS BEEN TEMPORARILY MISPLACED, BUT YOU CAN TRUST US THAT THE PROBLEM WILL BE DISCOVERED. YEAH, WELL, YOU CAN’T EXPECT TO TAKE CONTROL OF EVERYTHING AT ONCE. THIS IS AN EVOLVING PROCESS, YOU UNDERSTAND.

IRAQ: YES, WELL…. THERE’S SO MUCH RECONSTRUCTION WORK THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE. IT WILL BE GOOD TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE RECONSTRUCTION FUNDS.
(HOLDS UP MONEY SIGN)

US: WELL, NO, UNDERSTAND…
(GRABS THE MONEY SIGN)
THOSE AREN’T YOUR FUNDS. THAT’S NOT PART OF SOVEREIGNTY. MOST OF THE MONEY USED TO RUN THE GOVERNMENT AND RECONSTRUCTION WILL COME FROM U.S. AID AND OIL REVENUES. WHICH, AS WE’VE ALREADY DISCUSSED, ARE NOT YOURS. SO, YOU KNOW, WE’LL HELP YOU OUT ON THAT. AT LEAST FOR NOW. AS FAR AS OTHER RESOURCES, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THAT THE COUNTRY BELONGS, NOT TO THE PEOPLE OF IRAQ…

IRAQ: (CONFUSED) IT DOESN’T?

US: NO, THAT WOULD BE COMMUNISM. NO, WE DECIDED LAST YEAR TO PRIVATIZE THE COUNTRY. IT’S WRITTEN IN THE CONSTITUTION THAT WE WROTE FOR YOU. OF COURSE, FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. SO NOW THE RESOURCES OF THE COUNTRY ARE NO LONGER IN CONTROL OF THE FORMER INEFFICIENT MONOPOLIES OF SADDAM’S CRUEL DAYS, BUT INSTEAD TO SLEEK, EFFICIENT, MULTINATIONAL CORPORATIONS, SUCH AS BECHTEL AND HALIBURTON WHO WILL BRING A NEW ERA OF FREEDOM AND RESPONSIBILITY TO THE IRAQI PEOPLE. THEY CERTAINLY KNOW HOW TO SPEND AMERICAN TAX DOLLARS FREELY!

IRAQ: WELL, ALL RIGHT. YOU’VE TAKEN THE RECONSTRUCTION MONEY, BUT WE DON’T REALLY NEED THAT MUCH MONEY. WHAT WE REALLY NEED IS MORE JOBS. I CAN’T REMEMBER UNEMPLOYMENT EVER BEING HIGHER HERE.
(HOLD JOBS SIGN)

US: OH, JOBS! WELL, YOU KNOW, THE JOBS ARE COMING FROM THE AID AND THE OIL REVENUE, WHICH, AS WE’VE ALREADY DISCUSSED, THOSE ARE OURS. SO, YOU CAN’T EXPECT YOU TO GET THE JOBS WITH OUR MONEY. THOSE ARE OUR JOBS.
(TAKES JOBS SIGN)
WE CAN’T HAVE YOU—I’M NOT SURE WE CAN TRUST YOU DO IT. WE CAN’T EXPECT YOU TO BE INVOLVED IN SPECIALIZED WORK SUCH AS DRIVING YOUR OWN TRUCKS. WE HAVE TO HIRE AMERICANS AND PAY THEM GOOD MONEY FOR THEIR SACRIFICE OF BRINGING THEIR KNOWLEDGE INTO YOUR COUNTRY. SO, I’M SURE YOU UNDERSTAND.

IRAQ: WELL, (STARTING TO GET FRUSTRATED) OKAY, NO JOBS DOING “SPECIALIZED THINGS” LIKE DRIVING TRUCKS. BUT, YOU KNOW, OUR SECURITY SITUATION IS MUCH WORSE NOW THAN IT WAS BEFORE YOU LIBERATED US. A LOT US ARE NOT HAPPY THAT AMERICANS CONTINUE TO CONTROL OUR STREETS. WE USED TO HAVE OUR OWN POLICE FORCE AND ARMY BEFORE THE WAR. NOW THAT WE’RE SOVEREIGN, IT WILL BE NICE TO SEE THE AMERICANS LEAVING AND OUR OWN PEOPLE FILLING THESE JOBS.
(HOLDS UP COPS/MILITARY SIGN)
NO SADDAM, NO FOREIGN OCCUPIERS, THAT AT LEAST WILL BE SOMETHING.

US: YOU WILL HAVE YOUR OWN POLICE FORCE. BUT IT’S SMALL AND IT’S WEAK AND
(HE GRABS COPS/MILITARY SIGN)
WE’RE NOT LEAVING. WE’RE KEEPING OUR 140,000 SOLDIERS IN YOUR SOVEREIGN COUNTRY. FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. OF COURSE, THIS IS ALL FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND. WE’RE KEEPING ALL OUR TROOPS IN THERE. SOME OF THEM HAVE EVEN BEEN FORCED OUT OF RETIREMENT TO STAY. THE US COMMANDER IN CHIEF WILL ULTIMATELY HAVE CONTROL OVER MILITARY AND SECURITY CONCERNS. SINCE WE’RE HELPING YOU BY PROTECTING YOU OBVIOUSLY, IT’S NOT FAIR THAT YOU WOULD HAVE CONTROL OVER WHAT WE DO. (HE SHRUGS AND SMILES)

IRAQ: BUT, YOU MUST CONCEDE, AT LEAST, THAT WE HAVE POPULAR IRAQI ADMINISTRATORS CONTROLLING THE DAY-TO-DAY AFFAIRS OF OUR GOVERNMENT.
(HOLDS UP ADMINISTRATION SIGN)

US: THAT’S RIGHT! YOUR PRIME MINSTER’S ONE OF OUR BEST MEN! HIS 15-YEAR CONNECTION WITH THE CIA WILL AID HIM IN BEING A STRONG AND POPULAR LEADER. BUT I’M AFRAID WHEN YOU LOOK BEHIND THE SCENES—
(IRAQ TRIES TO LOOK BEHIND THE SCENES, BUT US PUSHES HER AWAY)
--WHICH I DON’T THINK YOU SHOULD!—WE WILL REMAIN FIRMLY IN CONTROL OF ALL IMPORTANT ADMINISTRATIVE FUNCTIONS.
(YANKS ADMINISTRATION SIGN AWAY)
THAT’S WHY YOUR DEARLY DEPARTED LEADER, PAUL BREMER, HAS BEEN SO BUSY LAST MONTH APPOINTING PEOPLE HE KNEW TO THE BOARDS OF ALL THE MINISTRIES. AND ISSUING EDICT AFTER EDICT AFTER EDICT. DON’T WORRY ABOUT ADMINISTRATION! YOUR NEW FRIEND, AMBASSADOR JOHN NEGROPONTE WILL TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR YOU OUT OF OUR 3000-PERSON-STRONG NEW EMBASSY—THE BIGGEST EMBASSY IN THE WORLD! WHICH WILL BE VERY DIFFERENT THAN A PROVISIONAL AUTHORITY. YES, YES, VERY DIFFERENT.

(IRAQ IS LEFT HOLDING IRAQ SIGN)

IRAQ: SO, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU CONTROL THE MONEY. YOU CONTROL THE OIL. YOU CONTROL THE RESOURCES. YOU CONTROL THE MILITARY AND THE POLICE. YOU CONTROL WHO GETS THE JOBS. AND YOU ADMINISTER THE GOVERNMENT. SO WHAT DO WE GET?

US: WELL, WE HAVEN’T GIVEN YOU ANY REAL POWER, BUT YOU DO GET SADDAM BACK. AS LONG AS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH HIM IS WHAT WE WANT YOU TO DO WITH HIM. (SMILES)

IRAQ: WELL, AT LEAST WE CAN PROUDLY FLY OUR OWN FLAG OVER OUR “SOVEREIGN NATION.”

US: WELL, ACTUALLY, THE LEADERS WE’VE APPOINTED FOR YOU HAVE A NEW ONE IN MIND. THEY’RE WORKING ON CHANGING THE DESIGN A BIT. SO, WE’LL JUST TAKE THAT (TAKES FLAG). AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS ONE IN THE MEANTIME. (DRAPES IRAQ WITH CORPORATE FLAG)

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