Hello Everyone!

It has taken a while to write this latest report from
Paraguay. Perhaps that is because I am not in
Paraguay.

I am in St. Louis, Missouri, due to the fact that my
father is due to have a very serious surgery on his
pancreas this Thursday. Peace Corps granted me a 14
day emergency leave. I've been here helping out my
family. My father is doing well and we hope for an as
quick as possible recovery. If things go well I should
be back in Paraguay next Tuesday.

But there is some news to report from before I left.

The end of our Peace Corps training period was not a
moment too soon, in that we all felt like the train
had already arrived and more training was too much
training. The interesting thing is that at the end of
all the training all of us trainees had a talent show.
The talent show consisted of everyone imitating each
other. The mocking skills we exhibited at that talent
show made me proud to be a Peace Corps Paraguay
volunteer. We all enjoyed it so much; there must be
something deeply embedded in human nature that compels
us to imitate each other.

After the mocking sessions, Walipe showed a slide show
and my friend Jason sang a song, but then nobody else
wanted to exhibit any talent. So I decided to tell a
story about my buddy Brandon Smoot of West Virginia,
now a Rural Economic Development volunteer in Sapukai.
Not only to I like the man Smoot, I enjoy saying the
word Smoot. Try it a few times, you won't be
disappointed. Smoot. The story I told used the verb
"to smoot" as its principal verb. It is a verb that
has multiple meanings. I smooted the story in a
mixture of English, Spanish and Guarani, properly
smooting "to smoot" in each language. For this I
almost won the grand prize, a thermos.

Then we were ready to get sworn in. The day after the
talent, we all said goodbye to our host families in
Villeta and headed to Asuncion. There was a ceremony
at the giant US embassy. We swore to defend the
Constitution of the United States of America against
all enemies, domestic or foreign. This made us Peace
Corps volunteers. After that we heard a great speech
from Martin, the 46-year old divorce lawyer who is the
oldest and perhaps wisest member of our training
group. Then Ambassador Keene showed up and
congratulated us.

Then Ambassador Keene started talking about Donald
Rumsfeld's visit to Paraguay the day before. He told
us that he wasn't going to give any propaganda or spin
but that he wanted to explain the real reason that
Rumsfeld came to Paraguay because there have been a
lot of misunderstandings. Immediately after saying
this he spent the next fifteen minutes spewing
propaganda and spin, about how Rumsfeld was "promoting
democracy".

He did allow us questions. My friend Sergeant (that is
her name, not her rank) questioned the wisdom of
having the US Secretary of Defense (ie Sec. of War)
being the promoter of democracy. I asked the man - if
Rumsfeld was promoting democracy, why were all the
meetings secret meetings with Paraguayan President
Duarte Frutos and top military officials? There were
no press conferences and no meetings with ordinary
Paraguayans. I pointed out that my job as a Municipal
Services Development volunteer was to promote
transparent and participatory government. The
Rumsfeld-Duarte Frutos meetings were neither
transparent nor participatory and defied every
principal of open, democratic government. Keene
responded my saying that Duarte Frutos had Paraguay's
first "serious" government in a long time, and that
the US wanted to help him, not hurt him. Open meetings
and press conferences would probably end up having
people disparage both Duarte Frutos and Rumsfeld.

It all makes perfect sense. In order for Rumsfeld to
"promote democracy" he had to avoid a free press and
an engaged citizenry. Of course. Why let the people of a
country upset its emerging democracy?

We can all speculate on what Rumsfeld was doing in
Paraguay, but the one thing I am sure of is that he
was not promoting democracy.

I give the Ambassador credit for that fact that he
stayed after and talked with us. What he said made me
respect him even less but that fact that he was
willing to talk made me respect him more.

After the swearing in I went with my ex-trainer Shawn
to buy a guitar. I got an excellent hand made
classical guitar, with a case, whistle and pick for
$50. But due to a mix up, I missed picking up my bank
card in time. The bank card had my salary. It was a
strange transition from being herded like cattle for
almost 3 months, then being completely on our own. 

During the weekend there were all these parties
organized the group of volunteers that were leaving,
or COSing in Peace Corps jargon. (COS means close of
service. Like the military, the Peace Corps is full of
acronyms.) They were kind of wild.

There was a lot of drinking. I've decided to just not
drink very much in Paraguay. I see this alcoholic
culture developing among many Peace Corps volunteers,
and it scares me. I think it's something that happens
with communities of ex-pats. This is especially the
case inside Paraguay, were heavy drinking is
culturally acceptable, especially by young men.

So after the weekend I went to my site Paso Yobai.
Unlike the previous visit, I was feeling good and
there for good. After going to my second story
apartment, I immediately got to work cleaning. Lots of
cleaning. The cleaning efforts were made easier by the
fact that in the bedroom there is a door to nowhere.
This door reveals a 30 foot drop to many pigs below. I
can sweep everything onto the pigs. Or else I can
sweep it off the ledge I must cross to get to the
bathroom.

I have arranged a kitchen. Although I don't have a
sink, there is a spigot. So I set up a bucket as a
makeshift sink. What do I do with dirty water? I open
the door to nowhere and throw it on the pigs.

I also set up clotheslines on the roof. It is great to
have a place to hang clothing that isn't dusty. Also
there is a beautiful view. I like roofs. Unfortunately
it gets very windy up there, so each sock requires two
clothespins, pants and shirts five. If they blow away,
they will become pig food. 

Where I live is above the general store Casa Sofia,
owned by Don Hermes Lopez. It is the largest store in
Paso Yobai. Yes, Don Hermes was named after the Greek
god, even though he himself is leaning towards
Jehovah's Witnessism. He is 67 years old and has a son
and two other young relatives that live there. Also
his sister Heri lives there. Heri is a widower and
Hermes a widow. His wife was named Sofia, that's how
the store got its name.

Heri is a great cook. I've been eating her lunches and
cooking my own dinners. They're all nice and they've
been treating me like family. When I told them I was
Jewish Hermes scowled and started talking about how
Jews killed Christ. But Heri told me how she used to
live with Jews in Buenos Aires and that they were nice
people.

During my first week in site I went to the
Municipality every morning. I've been teaching Excel
and basic typing skills to Don Wildo, the treasurer of
Paso Yobai. I've also gotten a chance to visit his
chacra (small farm) that he tends to in his spare
time. I went there with his mom and grandmother and
neighbor. We traveled on the back of a cart pulled
Jose, the neighbor's donkey. We all had a long
discussion about Jose, in Guarani.

Wildo also runs a youth soccer team as well as coaches
and adult team. I played soccer with the youth one
afternoon and it just about killed me. My only
problems playing soccer are that I am out of shape and
I have poor skills.

Paso Yobai is tiny. In two days I went to every store,
taping on each story a flier advising people to attend
my English class that I plan to teach. Then I drank
terere with people and talked about the class and
about things unrelated to the class. After that I
biked to the nearest rural villages, which for some
reason are called companies in Paraguay. I even met a
man who either can't or won't speak any Spanish and
told me in Guarani that I need to drink raw eggs. Then
he took an egg, poked a hole in each end with his
machete, and sucked it down. It was a chicken egg.
This English class promotion was a great chance to
meet many people.

Unfortunately, I got a call advising me that my father
was ill. I went to St. Louis. So the seventy fliers
and hyping of the English class perhaps didn't help my
credibility in town as much as I thought it would,
considering that I didn't show up to the advertised
first day of class (yesterday). But it is very
important for me to be here, and I did everything I
could in the few hours I could to get the message out
that the class was going to happen but that it was
delayed.

Peace Corps was able to set me up with a round trip
ticket from Asuncion to St. Louis. After getting proof
from my father's doctor that he did indeed have an
extremely serious condition, they immediately bought
me a ticket. I was in St. Louis about 55 hours after
hearing about my father's illness, which is pretty
impressive. I brought my Guarani books here, but I
haven't been keeping up with study. It's hard to force
myself to do so, because there are no Guarani speakers
here that I know of. I have been practicing the guitar
every day, though. Five chords!